After interrogating Steve about Alpha, after a while I decided I would go to one of these so-called discussions where questions of life was the topic. The first impression of Alpha, were a few people in a room and everyone over the age of 50 with just a few other young people. I didn't expect them to be normal people at all, and have the same sort of humour and conversations as everyone else; (I expected them to be a little bit strange). I was lead to believe that being quite bad by using abrasive language and doing things to impress people, was acceptable and quite good because that is how I had been nurtured, although I still had been nurtured as caring and considerate. I used to feel badly inside after anything I did wrong. I hardly conformed with society, and all the way through my life I made my own decisions from experiences coming up with conclusions from them, and rarely went with the majority just to be popular, (this is what most of the entire population do, and that is why they make wrong decisions and why they do not consider Christianity). Therefor through my life I appreciated love for people and other things as well, so I wasn't a bit of a lad, and that is also why I came to Christ in such a short time. As me and Steve went to the first Alpha course, I was very nervous. Steve showed me around and introduced me to every one and I met people. I thought that they were very kind, caring and interesting, and not in any way the impression I had conceived of them. By the end of the night it suddenly struck me that I had enjoyed it more than any other events or parties I'd ever been to. I was thrilled and I was definitely going back. The aim at the time was not to find out about God, but to have a good time and get to know these interesting people.

I kept going on the Alpha courses and slowly became more intrigued in what it was all about. I tried to ask questions and used a scientific basis of explaining things, but every question I had asked came with a logical answer. When Mick (the vicar), gave a talk at the start of each Alpha course, I listened carefully but kept an open mind. It all seemed to make sense than what it did in School. It was never like a RE lesson, because it meant more to me. I started believing but still had doubts. Every question I had was answered with in a few days, either through the bible or other literature or through people. (God was guiding me). The group members always shared what they had been through with Christ, and I had to believe them because I had to consider that it could be true which it is, and find out for myself. There was a special event that was taking place down at Owlerton Church, so I went and had a normal Alpha course there. After the Alpha course we were all asked to come down to the front, prey, and ask God in to our lives. I went down to the front and prayed for forgiveness and to say sorry and thank you to God. At that moment when I prayed and was prayed for, I felt an urge to break down in tears and the hairs on the back of my neck stuck up. I felt insecure and intimidated, and I hesitated to let God enter into my life, but I think at that point God was almost through the door, and I felt Gods love for the first time. The love from God that I'd never experienced before started to become more and more apart of my life. I definitely could not comprehend this love. It was about a few weeks later when I watched a video with Billy Graham speaking. After the video I listened to 'We bow down'. Like I had felt at Owlerton and many times before that same urge came upon me and I was touched by the Lord, I began to break down in tears, I fell to the ground and shouted 'Oh God'. It is so hard to explain, but it felt like hundreds of emotions rushing pass through my body and I was overwhelmed by it.

It didn't stop there because I continually needed persuading that I was heading in the right direction. When I was at a friend's house, I noticed a picture of a beach on the wall. The beach had footprints in it, and I had no idea that it was about God even though I had come across it years ago. It answered a question I had about why God was not showing any signs or helping me. It read that the lord will be with you at times but in difficult situations the Lord will carry you and on the picture it shows the beach with one set of footprints. As I read the last sentence it made it clear that the Lord helps you when you least expect it and notice it and the Lord will walk with you. I continually asked the Lord to guide me and show me something that would convince me. About a couple of months later one night while I was praying I heard a voice. At first it sounded muffled, but I knew it wasn't the voice of my Mum, Dad or Brother. I instinctively knew it was Jesus, he said to me, 'walk with me' and he said it three times. I could not believe it and all though I was afraid at first, I looked up and smiled. I jumped out of bed anxiously and asked my parents if they had said these words, but their reply was no. I still put it down to my Mother and convinced myself that I had miss interpreted the words.

About one week later in the morning on the bus to college, I looked out of the window in to the sunrise and asked God to show me anything which would declare the truth and make my faith grow. So that I could give even more love to him than I had been giving already. Nothing happened until later when I was on the bus coming home that day, the skies were clear and the sun was gleaming, I caught something in the corner of my eye, it seemed to be a star but it was in the middle of the day. It appeared to become brighter then disappeared lasting quite a few seconds, just enough to prove that it wasn't my imagination. Nobody on the bus seemed to notice it. At first I thought of everything it could have been. I thought it was an air balloon, but it was far too high up and didn't appear to be moving, it was far too bright to be reflecting off the sun and it did disappear, and too large has to how high it was. As I had been through everything it could have possibly been, I didn't come up with a conclusion only that it was God. I only told my parents but they tried to ignore it, and the subject was never brought to the surface again. The other people I told were Steve and Jonathan, and I had a feeling that they did not believe me because of their reaction was hardly surprising. I could not think that this event was God because he did not answer me straight away, and nobody noticed it on the bus. I was beginning to believe that it was my imagination. I needed something else. A few days after that, I was walking up the road I live on, and it was about 6:00pm in the evening and dark. I thanked God for everything he had done for me, but I asked him for just one more time absolutely anything just to appear enough to convince me. I carried on walking not expecting anything. Just as I had got around the corner of the hill, I noticed once again something in the corner of my eye. I quickly turned around looked up and there once again was a light, which appeared too large to be a flying aircraft, and brighter than the moon itself and it became larger and brighter then died down again. I knew it was not the moon because the moon was on the other side. I thanked God and smiled and said that it was enough and that if he did not want to, he would not have to show me any more, my faith had leaped to new heights.

My faith has grown from nothing to 99.9% sure that God is true, and I can not put everything down and elaborate on what I have written otherwise this would be a novel. Everyone has doubts to whether God is true and even though God has almost completely proved that he exists there is still that small insignificant fact that this could be just coincidence. How can it be? The other day I was called to do something for the homeless. I could not get it out of my mind, and then a few days later the telephone wrung and it was a charity for the homeless, I knew it was what I had to do, collect money for the homeless. I think I would have a better chance of winning the jackpot on the lottery fifty times over than the chance of these being coincidences, but it just isn't me who God has touched, it's millions of others. We live through chances all our lives, and God helps us and that is why we are at the situation we are at now. We should praise and thank God for what he has done for us. He loves so much it is hard to understand why. It makes me really angry and upset when people turn away from it all. People may even read this, and not for one moment think about it. People have said to me that I have been brain washed. As far as I'm concerned, I think it is them who have been brain washed, because it's them who think that to do something wrong, is doing something right. It doesn't make any sense what so ever. Why is it so bad to be so righteous? People don't realise how important this is, it's more important than life itself. I am not expanding on what happened to me one bit. In fact I could even be diluting it. So what is on this page is true and is not extruding what happened or expanding in any way which would falsely declare the truth. I have not mentioned quite a lot of it and the feelings what I had behind it.